Things are going slow, too slow. I can't seem to function properly as I can't function at all. I wake up with this empty feeling of coldness. Everything is so cold it makes me shiver. I seek to be warm and when it's warm I seek to be clear. The cold messes with my head as it should. I wake up weak. Barely breathing.. I wonder did I win the battle this time? I didn't. I seem to fight all night long. What for? Freedom. From myself. I leave pieces of myself after every battle. As I lose something every morning. Do I still have things to lose? Can I still fight? I miss joy, I miss lightness. I feel so heavy it's suffocating. I wanna stop, waking up.